Monthly Archives: May 2023

Hell yes!

Does a bear use Charmin toilet tissue to clean his behind?

Hell no!

So, what does it say about American society when a blue animated bear must instruct people about what paper product they should use after a sit-down in their bathroom?

Yet there are thousands of Americans—if not tens of thousands—who rush to their favorite grocery to buy one of the most expensive brands of toilet tissue in the store because a blue, ass-shaking bear told them to do so. Their decision to purchase was not based on product quality or price but rather on the blue bear’s recommendation.

I suspect, without any real evidence, that some of these toilet tissue buyers probably participated in a CNN poll several years ago in which 10 percent of American law school graduates said Judge Judy was a member of the U.S. Supreme Court.

That is how advertising dumbs down Americans.

Macho muscle cars and heavy duty tough truck ads tell men what and how to drive while racy undergarments and leak protection feminine products tell women what to wear when they join those brutes behind wheels on a “night out on the town” during which time their parents sit home watching Blue Bloods medical ads about health products that have 15 seconds of benefits and 30 seconds of life-threatening side effects.

Meanwhile, mass shootings, debt-ceiling economic collapse, world famines and wars, environmental disasters, and the threat of nuclear annihilation are put on the “pay no mind to” list.

But there may be a solution to improving these little life absurdities.

Take that damn blue bear, insert a little artificial intelligence in its head, add 20 words to its vocabulary, and dye its hair orange—and America will have itself a president who will tell us he alone can fix every life problem in the country, from how to clean your ass, spell covfefe, drink bleach, and move a hurricane from one state to another with a magic marker.

We can all then rejoin the “leave it to beaver” era when a bear shit privately in the woods and toilet tissue remained in the bathroom unnoticed till needed.

Texas, and America, experienced another mass shooting with an assault weapon this past weekend.

The first assault weapon in U.S. was the Gatling gun—a weapon patented in 1862 by Robert Jordan Gatling that would fire more than 200 bullets in a minute. Though used sparingly in the Civil War, the weapon saw greater use in the 1870s and 1880s, not only in America but across Europe.

The Gatling gun was an “assault” weapon used by the Army in battles against Native Americans over that two-decade span.

For example, 3,000 White American soldiers used the weapon against 700 Native American warriors during the Red River War in Texas in 1874. The Army needed the weapon to remove Native American tribes—Comanche, Kiowa, Southern Cheyenne, and Arapaho—from the Southern Plains to reservations during the great theft of Indian land.

This “assault” weapon was used because it was designed to kill people in large numbers in a short period of time.

Two other American “assault” weapons were also created during the Civil War era: The Spencer Repeating Rifle in 1860 and the Winchester Repeating Rifle in 1866.

Both weapons were made to kill people, not animals. They were not made for individual or home protection. Their only purpose was to allow the shooter to kill as many people as desired through a rapid fire procession.

Gun proponents, especially assault weapon owners, say “mass shootings” are a byproduct of mental illness—not the prevalence of guns.

History is not kind to that argument.

The de-institutionalization of mentally people in California in the 1960s and 1970s resulted in a series of horrific mass murders (like the John Frazier murders in 1970) and unleashed some serial killers (like Edmund Kemper in 1973).

But there were no mass shootings at shopping centers, schools, places of worship, or work places like the hundreds of assault weapon massing shootings being seen across the country today.

Mass shooters are generally avid gun owners, possessing multiple types of assault weapons. For a host of real or imagined grievances against society in general or certain people in particular, they use their “assault” weapons to kill as many people as possible to settle their grievances.

In other words, they fulfill the original purpose that the assault weapon was created for—to kill as many people as possible in the shortest amount of time as possible.

That is the methodical “assault” intent of such weapons as evidenced by the first real mass shooting in the United States—the Texas Tower Shooting in 1966 that left 14 people dead at the hands of Charles Whitman, an avid gun owner just his father was.

Was Charles Whitman mentally ill? Probably, in some textbook kind of way. But his intent to kill as many people as possible from the Texas Tower was motivated by anger, rage, and grievance.

Probably half of the nation’s population suffers from some sort of “mental illness.” One trip into the dark side of social media where all sorts of conspiracy theories and racial hatred and violent impulses exist reveals American “mental illness” on display.

Many assault weapon owners will now say the Allen, Texas mall shooter was one of those social media “mentally ill” extremist.

Yet many of these assault weapon enthusiasts, like some in Congress, will simultaneously say that the thousands of people who stormed the nation’s capitol of January 6, 2021 shouting “kill Mike Pence” were proud gun-owning “patriots” trying to protect White people from the “Deep State” run by the “let’s go Brandon” mafia.

Hatred is not mental illness. It’s a social plague that allows people to see violence as a natural response in support of their own belief system.

It may be reasonably said that mental illness is an “excuse” for mass shootings but it is the insane prevalence of “assault weapons” that is the cause for such shootings.

Age produces a certain intolerance for stupidity. The “here’s your sign” kind of stupidity made hilarious by comedian Bill Engvall.

Each morning I awaken at roughly 4:00 a.m. and before starting the day’s work assignment, I fix a cup of Folgers instant coffee, turn on my computer, and head for Yahoo News. I want to make sure the world is still standing after a night of incomprehensible violence in some part of the world. I may devote all of ten seconds wondering how humans developed the audacity to call humankind “civilized.”

As I scroll through the news feed trying to find something relevant to read, I see enticements about 8 “stunning see through bikini photos” of some British (and/other other nationality) Wang Dang Doodle model, soccer star, Alpine skier, pro wrestler, or kangaroo rider on the beaches in Arizona.

Why would a man, woman, transgender, or no gender give a “good flying fuck” (and I don’t even want to think about where that term came from) about Wang Dang Doodle in a see through bikini bear-hugging a cactus plant in a New Mexico desert.

Maybe I’m too old to appreciate the “finer things” in life anymore. I find it more interesting, and occasionally more enjoyable, to watch the human traffic moving about in the parking lot of the local grocery.

Another thing on my mind that pisses me off is this “transgender issue.”

The Washington Post recently posted an op-ed piece about “understanding biological sex.” The newspaper reported that more than 7,000 of its readers took valuable time out of their lives to pass their opinion about what another person wants to be sexually, how they wish to dress in public, and how they view sex in general.

Folks, this is “breaking news happening right now”: planet earth is dying and humankind is just yards from the end zone.

Take my advice please: you be whatever the fuck you want to be and let the other person be whatever the fuck they want to be. It will make life so much simpler, perhaps even happier, as we all hurdle towards the “end days” or certainly toward our last day.

Finally but not lastly, I’ve had about as much of Marjorie Taylor Greene’s stupidity as I can stand. When I see her name, I will run away in fear of being blighted by the stench of it. This Congressional scientist recently informed the public that global warming is a natural phenomenon brought about because the earth is a spinning ball in the universe; and because that is the natural order of things, current day Americans should not be required to pay taxes to subsidize climate change because people in the Ice Age (more than 11,000 years ago) did not have to pay taxes to keep the earth frozen.

That is the new political criteria for being a U.S. Congressperson.

At least George Santos, like we all do, knows that world is square and that it sits motionless on a catalytic converter just five miles from the third rock to the sun.